To believe in something as important as a religious tenet, passion is to be expected. For many, to believe includes the desire to communicate that belief passionately. However, passionate adherence to one’s faith must not result in disrespect for the faith of others in word or deed.

How then does one communicate faith in a way that does not breach peace among neighbours who subscribe to different faiths and world views?

The answer, I believe, is in kindness.

We live in a multi-religious society, held together by a social compact to live in harmony. In such a society, we must look at our shared world through each other’s eyes. We have to at least try to look at our own words and actions from more than just our own point of view. This consideration for others is an integral part of kindness.

Kindness would be a good barometer to gauge if one’s words or behaviour are socially responsible. For instance, in this case, the students, prior to posting the comments, could have asked themselves, ‘Would it be kind to say this?’

Another good question to ask is, ‘How would I feel if this is said about me and my religion?’

In the situation commented on, the answer, I am certain, would have been that it was not kind to have said those things. I am also sure that if they were the recipients of those comments, they would have found them offensive to their religious sensibilities.

It’s a simple approach to determine appropriate behaviour in our society. This approach is, in fact, espoused by all religious teachers. It is the Golden Rule, that we should treat others the way we want to be treated.

If we keep this simple rule in mind, and measure our words and actions against this standard, I’m certain we will find that practising and communicating one’s faith in a multi-religious ethos can be done without creating disharmony among neighbours.

Dr William Wan
General Secretary
Singapore Kindness Movement

First published in The Straits Times – Feb 22, 2012

Her name was Fia, and she worked at a spa where Daniel and I went in for some treatments. As we were ready to leave, a deluge rain fall began. (Little did we know that the rain would not stop for 3 hours!) We tried for one solid hour to call a taxi, but could not get one. So, finally, we asked where the nearest MRT stop was. Fia loaned us her own umbrella, gave us some flip flop shoes (so that we would not ruin the shoes we had on), and she even gave us some nice plastic bags into which we could put our things so that they did not get ruined. It was very kind of her to do this for us – if not, we would still have been there, waiting 3 hours later!

Submitted by Brenda Bence

Got a Kindness story to share?
Email stories@kindness.sg to have them published on our website.

I will call her Ah Hua.

When I was young, I knew of a very poor lady. She is 26 years older than me, and she will be giving coins to any old chaps that just raised their hands at her to ask for money (even though she is already so poor).

She would say, “Never mind lah, it’s ok.”, when she is taken advantage of.

She is always smiling – to neighbours, shop keepers in the market, and to anyone she has simple eye contact with.

“Siao,” I always thought. “Strangers leh..”

I remember of a few occasions when I saw her helping someone but then got taken advantage of later.

For instance, there was an old auntie in the market who always bought alot of items. She knew that Ah Hua would always bring her children – one cute daughter and two sons, to the market for breakfast. There, the old auntie would purposely wait for Ah Hua. She would then ask Ah Hua for one free coffee and then guess what, carry her bags back to her house.

“Simple people do simple things”, I always told myself. “Stupid simple people do things without thinking”, “Don’t know how to say no, end up do alot of errands”, “Complete fool”. These were some quotes that ran through my mind then.

For years, I observed this lady. I sometimes felt that she is kind, but many times I felt that she did not know how to reject people.

There was one day, when I was already close to 30 years old, and Ah Hua was already in her 50s. I saw her nursing a wound on top of her left eye. There was a lot of blood and I asked: “What clumsy things did you do man…?”. She replied, “I was careless.”

I remember it very clearly. That was what she said.

One to two years passed. Kind people never have good endings… (Quoted from movies)
Ah Hua was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and the bad cells were dancing all over in her body. There was a swell above her left eye. Doctor said that it was the weakness part of her body then and the bad cells were dancing big time there.

Doctor asked, “What happened to that part of your face?”
Stupid woman replied, “I helped an old woman cross the road, and I slipped and fall. Hurt my eye lid as a result.”

“Very stupid! Dont help lah, then this wouldn’t have happened!”, ”Kindness means nothing. Just mind your own business. Don’t Kapo!” Those were in my mind.

2 months after diagnosis, Ah Hua left us. We felt like she was lost forever.
During her wake, her children were crazily busy hosting visitors. There were a lot of them.
Who were these chaps? We have never seen them before.

People came up and said, “This is an amazing woman.”, “she never says no to helping people”, “she is the only lady I know that is willing to live simply and be so willing to help others.” and many many more… so much that you could not believe it.

I turned and looked at her photo hanging in front of the casket.
I spoke to myself, “What is this?”
Ah Hua had left us, but she had left something behind.

I miss her a lot. Every second I do.
Now, whenever I see someone doing an act of kindness, I no longer regard them as Kapos.
I can feel their kindness. I can feel my mother’s presence.

She completely changed my life and the way I looked at things.
Thank you Ah Hua and also Mum Mum. You did not tell me how to be kind. You showed me what is kindness.

One does not need to be rich and famous to be kind. Ah Hua was a simple woman throughout her life. After getting married, she stopped working to look after her family.

Submitted by Thomas Tan

Got a Kindness story to share?
Email stories@kindness.sg to have them published on our website.

Studies have shown that kindness affects our sense of well-being, stimulating the production of hormones serotonin (contributor of happiness) and oxytocin (more commonly known as the ‘love hormone’), affecting our physical and psychological wellness.

Kindness, as a disposition, significantly reduces cortisol – a hormone released in response to stress – thereby reducing our stress levels.

Clearly, being kind is good and has an inherent calming effect on us because of the chemistry at work that contributes to our positivity.

These positive attributes are also transferable to others, through our attitudes, actions and speech, influencing our co-workers to be gracious and happy.

Kindness given and received at the workplace creates a more gracious and favourable environment.

In today’s economically driven society, achieving a state of happiness may seem like an arduous task, but if we make the conscious effort to channel kind and positive thoughts, and carry out kind and positive actions, we inevitably make others around us happy, resulting in us being happy as well.

A positive and happy workplace is an attractive place to work. When we look forward to work and interacting with happy people, we will be more engaged, and that will drive up productivity.

If we make kindness our business, it is good for any business.

Dr William Wan
General Secretary,
Singapore Kindness Movement

First Published on Feb 6, 2012 in The Straits Times (ST Forum)

Children dressed smartly in their new uniforms were spotted running around excitedly while a small handful of them were seen crying, probably feeling nervous about being detached from their anxious parents. As part of its orientation programme, the school organised a series of activities to help put everyone at ease. It also invited General Secretary of SKM, Dr William Wan, to speak to the adults while their students were busy in their classes.

Dr Wan’s talk emphasised the important role a parent has in his or her child’s character development. He highlighted that character education was a shared responsibility between both schools and parents, especially for young children who spend most of their time at home. And to help drive this message in further, Dr Wan shared his personal experiences in bringing up his children as the parents listened intently.

The kindergarten hopes to educate their students with various character values throughout 2012. SKM will explore ways to work with the school and support its programmes.

• Aidha student ambush! – by Aidha
• Daisies Ambush – by Kris Mak
• Singapore Kindness Movement 2011 – by Chia Yee
• Kindness at work in Bible Society of Singapore – by Florence Fong
• Project Biscuits 2011 – by Glyn Seah

We will be contacting you shortly via email with details of collecting your prize.

SKM is presenting a new platform called ‘Write For Kindness’ especially for secondary school students to write stories suitable for pre-school children.

This story writing competition allows secondary school students to work in teams to create original tales from scratch. Students are allowed to express themselves creatively, but should adhere to the objective of teaching the little ones about respect, which is the theme for the competition.

This is a unique partnership with the Temasek Humanities and Social Sciences School in Temasek Polytechnic. Teachers and students from the school will organise and run a two-day workshop for all participants during the June school holidays. The workshop aims to provide students with the fundamental skills needed in the story writing for young audiences.

Secondary school students who are keen to participate can register through their schools, and play their part in spreading kindness and helping to educate the younger generation!

For more information, click here.

999 stalks = Eternal love

Best for your spouse or someone you know you want to spend an eternity with. Unless you have a really big wallet or own your own rose garden!

99 = Love for the rest of your life

When forever is too long, and the rest of your life is enough. It might leave you enough left over for a romantic dinner as well.

24 = I think about you 24 hours a day

Nothing says you think of your significant other all day and all night better than 24 stalks of roses.

11 = My one and only

The relationship is going fine and you’re ready to take it up another level? Take that step on Valentine’s Day.

10 = Perfect 10

Answer the perennial tricky question ‘Do I look fat?’ with a bouquet of ten roses which simply say ‘You are perfect in every way’.

3 = I love you

Aahh… young love… so uncomplicated and pure. And with just three roses, it’s also an easy investment to make!

1. Ponder on important things

You should not need to vex yourself over easy choices – What to eat? What colour shoes to purchase? Instead, spend careful time thinking things over clearly only for important decision like a new job, purchasing a home or making a proposal.

2. Accept ‘good enough’

There are times when not all decisions are ‘right’ or ‘wrong’, but rather which one is a ‘better’ or ‘best’ choice. For the less important options in life, learn to accept ‘good enough’; you do not need to make the absolutely ‘best’ decisions in these instances.

3. Moderate expectations

You are indeed your own worst critic. So learn to moderate or even lower expectations. Perfection is never attainable, so don’t expect to make that one ideal choice even when you may have many alternatives.

4. Say ‘yes’ and move on

You’ve made your choice? Now, move on and stop looking at other alternatives that may make you question whether you have indeed made the right choice.

5. Stick to it!

Learn to accept that decision you have made and stick to it! There is little point to change your mind, rather you should spend time and resources making your choice the one that works best for you.